We've all been in this situation. We have a problem, a project, an idea etc. that we share we people and suddenly we have a whole range of opinions, suggestions, reasons why we should o should not proceed etc. Most of them given by well-meaning friends, family or colleagues. What do you do with it all? How do you manage them without offending? This can be tricky.

 “A good listener tries to understand what the other person is saying. In the end he may disagree sharply, but because he disagrees, he wants to know exactly what it is he is disagreeing with.” ~ Kenneth A. Wells

That's the first thing we can do - listen to what others have to say, be curious about where the intent, ask questions to clarify and understand. 

The next thing to consider might be how what you have heard fits with the outcome you want. Perhaps the opinion itself may not hold anything of value but what you gather from your questions might give you new information or a perspective you had not thought of before.

This is pretty straight forward, you probably do this all the time. The tricky part, I find, is when you disagree or when opinions that have no basis in fact or that there can be action for, just keep coming repeatedly. They might even start to get in the way of you making progress.

I haven't found a single way of handling this. The reason is because there is usually a different reason people give their opinion - they have had a 'similar' previous experience; they just want to be heard; they believe giving you an opinion is their 'value-add' to the situation or your development; etc. You might get this understanding when you ask questions but you also may not.

What do you do then? Some things that I've tried:

- Thank them for their input. Sometimes I add that I will consider what they have said

- When opinions and ideas are about things that 'should have or could have' happened i.e. it is about the past. I get them refocused on the present and what we can influence or can control.

- Clarify the outcome/objective/goal and ask for ideas and opinions to be focused on that

- When someone is trying to be heard or feel included I try and find them a role or have them come back with facts/action etc. to support their opinion or ideas.

What do you do?

“The fact that an opinion has been widely held is no evidence whatever that it is not utterly absurd; indeed, in view of the silliness of the majority of mankind, a wide-spread belief is more likely to be foolish than sensible” ~ Bertrand Russell