Updated: Nov 1, 2019
In this post we lok at another three areas that mentally strong people do. In my last post we looked at 'moving on and keeping control'
"Mentally strong people don’t try to avoid change. Instead, they welcome positive change and are willing to be flexible. They understand that change is inevitable and believe in their abilities to adapt." Flexibility and believing in ourselves is the real key here. We don't need to know all the answers before we 'start' or make a change - it's not really possible anyway. So how do we build up that belief and willingness to be flexible? Ask questions to help build understanding and confidence. Decide to learn and make progress not to be perfect. Look for the benefits not only the downsides. Set yourself some goals, big and small, and think about 'what it would take to achieve'. Celebrate success. Ask more questions. Let go of the fear of failing and embrace the journey and the learning by asking yourself - what really is the worse thing that can happen here? Can you live with that? If you can't what can you do about it?
"Mentally strong people don’t sit around feeling sorry about their circumstances or how others have treated them. Instead, they take responsibility for their role in life and understand that life isn’t always easy or fair." This is not about blaming ourselves or feeling like we should be - like if someone is being harrassed or something happens to them which is outside of their control. This is speaking to the difference between wainting or assuming you should get 'that job' or 'that promotion' etc. and doing what you need to do to be in the best situation to succeed. And if it still doesn't happen then 'take control and move on'. It's about not feeling entitled and owning our choices and actions.
"Mentally strong people recognize that they don’t need to please everyone all the time. They’re not afraid to say no or speak up when necessary. They strive to be kind and fair, but can handle other people being upset if they didn’t make them happy." One of the best pieces of advice I ever got from a manager was - 'Not everyone is going to like all your choices (and by extension - you) all the time. Be fair and transparent, demonstrate compassion and empathy - aim for being respected. Being liked is a bonus.' The other piece of advice that changed the way I thought was - 'Everyone has an opinion and people can view the same situation differently depending on their view of the world. Listen to the feedback, evaluate it, decide what you can take on board and what the impact would be of not doing so.'