Dark and Light, Happy and Sad, Truth and Lies, Good mood and Bad Mood - Flip Sides! So what, you know these things. But have you noticed that the way we look at things often determines what we find? For example when someone irritates us, no matter what they do we always find more things that irritate us, and the more things we find the more irritated we get and the cycle continues. The flip side is that someone else finds the good or the positive things they do even from the same situation/person! It's a bit like witnesses to a crime, more often than not people see/remember things differently depending on their perspective, beliefs or other influencing factors.
What does all this mean? We find what we look for! Or said another way “Whether you think you can, or you think you can't--you're right.” ~ Henry Ford
Why is this important? It means that a thought is just a thought and if we change our thoughts we can change the way we feel and the actions we take. We can take control. Sounds easy right? Technically it is. I mean most of us know this to be true on a rational level, so why is it so hard to change?
There are a couple of reasons - habit and fear. If we have low levels of trust we are constantly looking for reasons not to trust, so much so that it becomes a habit, an automatic and subconscious behaviour. To change or break that pattern we need to create and practice new habits and to do that we must be willing to step out of our comfort zone and to persist in the face of setbacks. To do that we have to believe we will be better off in some way. We have to set ourselves goals, get help and support, start creating new connections.
There are practical tasks and strategies we can adopt like 'looking for what you want to see or aspire too', 'think about what's possible instead of what's not possible' etc. But if you don't believe there is a benefit or trust others to help or can see a better bigger picture or motivated to perist etc. none of it will work. In short, to change a habit we need to be #changefit